Here’s the first “failure” I choose to share because I know the feeling most re-peat takers have.

I am not good enough. I am not smart enough. I can’t believe I had to take it a second time, let alone a third time.

I had to pay so much money for this exam which was pure torture, all three times. And on top of the exam cost, maybe you even have to pay for the prep materials and for a prep course if that’s the way you choose to go.

You think “I can’t share this with others” because they will judge me. But little do you probably realize that most people around you have had a second or third even fourth round at it. And we still get into medical school. Let’s all be a little more transparent.

The First MCAT

I took my first MCAT on June 2nd, 2016. To give you some context, this was at the end of my Junior year, right as the summer started. I had started studying roughly around winter break. I vaguely remember we had formed a group to do weekly study sessions. From January to May I was still doing my regular college courses full-time and working some part-time jobs on the side, and somehow I thought I had time to study for the MCAT.

My Course Load

Biomechanics, Biomedical Instrumentation, Organic Chemistry Lecture + Lab, General Biochemistry, Biomedical Engineering Lab

To be completely honest, I didn’t study at all. I would pick up a book here and there. I would convince myself that I was reviewing some material and do a few AAMC practice exams. I think maybe I did one or two exams, and I never did a full-day simulation. I figured I despised standardized exams and no matter what I did I was bound to perform subpar anyways. At least that’s how the ACT had gone for me in the past and every standardized test before that.

I had no dedicated study period, and I believed that the results were out of my control. I had some favorite subjects that I thought I would do decently on. I was quite good at physics, problem-solving, biology, and psychology, but I truly disliked chemistry, reading, and writing. So I anticipated that my CARS section would be horrendous.

Around a month later, in July 2016, I received the results. My goal at that time was a 510 or higher.

Here are the official results

Total Score = 506 (68%)
Chemical & Physical Foundations = 127 (76%)
Critical Analysis & Reading = 127 (82%)
Biological & Biochemical Foundations = 126 (62%)
Psychological, Social, Biological Foundations = 126 (59%)

The Second MCAT

I didn’t perform as well as I had personally set out to and at this point, I had already submitted my application for the AMCAS cycle. I knew I could do better. So, I signed up for a second testing date on August 20th, 2016. This was a huge mistake for several reasons.

First, for the entire month of July, I was going to be abroad on a pre-medical fellowship (Atlantis). I went to Athens, Greece for three weeks, during this time I shadowed in two different hospitals for roughly 20 hours per week and during the rest of the time I engaged in cultural activities with the other fellows. This experience definitely boosted my application as a whole but didn’t help my MCAT score at all.

While I should have been fully immersed in the experience of shadowing, mingling with other pre-med students, and learning about Greek culture and the people, I ended up locking myself in the hotel room in the evenings, studying for the MCAT. Not only did I not put myself 100% in the present moment and live it to the fullest, but I also didn’t have a dedicated study schedule yet again. I would do some more practice AAMC tests when I could and review them in the most ineffective manner.

If I could go back in time and re-do this, I would have fully engaged in the pre-medical fellowship experience and postponed my MCAT to a much later date, rather than doing an injustice to both. As I mentioned, I took the second MCAT on August 20th, and the scores came out at the end of September. Medical schools were already reviewing my application with the first MCAT and I’m not even sure if they considered my second MCAT.

Because I had at least done a few more AAMC practice exams, I felt a bit more confident than the first time around. I was wrong. When I saw my results, my stomach sank. I did worse.

Here are the official results

Total Score = 505 (65%)
Chemical & Physical Foundations = 126 ( 66%)
Critical Analysis & Reading = 125 (60%)
Biological & Biochemical Foundations = 125 (51%)
Psychological, Social, Biological Foundations = 129 (88%)

The Third MCAT

After the second MCAT, I felt completely discouraged. I felt like a failure. How could I perform even worse than the first time? I know it’s only one point, but at that moment it doesn’t matter. When you first see it, all you can think to yourself is how bad it is. I never wanted to think about the MCAT ever again. It took a big piece of my confidence. I was done with it, forever.

Fast forward to the end of my Senior year. I had been accepted to medical school but ended up withdrawing my acceptance in order to pursue a Fulbright Scholarship. I graduated in May 2017 and I was going to leave for my Fulbright in September 2017 and I had no plans for the summer at that time.

I recall one Sunday evening at the beginning of June I was talking to my mom and how I would potentially reapply to medical school in the future, but the only thing that still held me back was that MCAT score. I had never considered MCAT courses simply because I didn’t have the financial means to do it. But my mom nudged me. She would help me pay for a course. That same evening I signed up for the Princeton Review MCAT Ultimate Course Online that started the very next day (I tend to do things on a whim sometimes).

I don’t remember the exact cost but it was definitely over $2000 at that time and I knew this was my last chance. For 12 weeks I fully dedicated myself to this course because it was the only time I had to take the exam before I would be going abroad and because I didn’t want to waste my mom’s money (I felt guilty spending money on this). I couldn’t “fail” this time.

I sacrificed everything for those 12 weeks. I didn’t go on any vacations, I didn’t see my friends, I was hardcore living, eating, breathing nothing but MCAT (I’ll describe my detailed study schedule in another post). There was one week towards the end of my study period where I had a planned surgery that was quite invasive. For about a week I was on pain medication, antibiotics, and drowsy non-stop, but I still kept to my schedule for the most part.

On September 2nd, 2017, I took my third MCAT. One week later, I packed my bags and flew to Poland to begin my Fulbright journey, putting this test behind me once and for all. And while I was abroad, I received the results. This time I did it. Although my goal had been a 515+, I still improved my score significantly and my hard work paid off.

Here are the official results

Total Score = 513 (88%)
Chemical & Physical Foundations = 129 ( 92%)
Critical Analysis & Reading = 125 (60%)
Biological & Biochemical Foundations = 128 (84%)
Psychological, Social, Biological Foundations = 131 (98%)

Final Thoughts

I started off with a 506, then went down to a 505, and after months of hard work I achieved a 513. For some people, it comes easier than this. They study for several weeks, they take it, and they ace it. For the average person like myself, this is a journey, it’s a mountain peak with lots of ups and downs along the way.

After MCAT one and two, I felt utterly discouraged and ashamed of my results. After MCAT three, I realized that what I lacked before wasn’t intelligence, but rather discipline. All I needed was some structure and order in my life in order to accomplish what I knew I was capable of. We all have potential, it’s just a matter of figuring out what works best for us and how to bring that out. I am now much more confident in my abilities and I look forward to taking on STEP 1 during medical school.

If we did everything perfectly the first time around, we’d never learn any lessons.

Check out my MCAT story on YouTube